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To be read in an Italian accent! “One a day ama going to Malta to picka ‘otel. In da morning I goa down to eata da breakfast. I tella da waitress “I wanna 2 pieces of toast.” She bringsa only 1 piece. I tell her “I want 2 piece.” She tells me to go to the toilet. I say “you no understand, I wanna 2 piece on my plate!” She say “you better not piece on the plate, you soon of a beech!” I don’t even know the lady, an she call me a soon of a beech! Later I go to eat at a the biggera restaurant.

The waitress brings me a spoon and a knife, buta no fork. I tell her “I wanna the fork!” She tell me “everybody wanna fork!” I tell her “you no understand.

I wanna fork on the table.” She say “you bettera not fork on the table you soon of a beech. I go back to my room ina hotel and there is no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and say “I wanna sheet!” He tells me to go to the toilet. I say “you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed.” He says “you bettera not sheet on the bed, you soon of a beech!” I go down to a checkout and the man at the desk saya “peace on you!” I saya “peace on you too, you soon of a beech!” I’ma going backa to Italia!

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Originally posted by mikelom To be read in an Italian accent! “One a day ama going to Malta to picka ‘otel. In da morning I goa down to eata da breakfast. I tella da waitress “I wanna 2 pieces of toast.” She bringsa only 1 piece. I tell her “I want 2 piece.” She tells me to go to the toilet. I say “you no understand, I wanna 2 piece on my plate!” She say “you better not pie.[text shortened]. Ya “peace on you!” I saya “peace on you too, you soon of a beech!” I’ma going backa to Italia!Gina Lollabrigida couldn't have said it better.